My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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