i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
