Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
