she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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