handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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