Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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