I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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