How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
