oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
