Porn is love you can see.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
