her vagine was all disorganized.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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