If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
