I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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