Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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