She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
