It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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