Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
