Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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