best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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