its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
