Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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