What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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