I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
