Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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