so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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