what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
