Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
