I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
