Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Randomize
