I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
