I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
