dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
