he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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