you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
