I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
