she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
