your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
