Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
