don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
