He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
