there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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