im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
