whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
