I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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