It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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