I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Found your dick twin last night
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
