I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
