Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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