I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
