I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
My balls are so social today.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
