non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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