he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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