i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
