I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
